iCan't do it
by MochaSeriouslyNoTurtles
Summary: It was just a mistake, but a mistake that came with one huge consequence. A consequence they'd both be faced with - together. Maybe? !SEDDIE!Red Rose Miserys SeddieIsPregnant challenge.
1. Doubts?

**Ok heyaa. Another story. This is part of Rose Red Misery's Fanfiction challenge. Ok so hope you like it. I've just started another iCarly story too 'i**** hate you i swear' Check it out if you wanna :]**

**Don't own.**

She sat on the cold hard bathroom floor. She was leaning against the bathtub her eyes darting to the top of the cabinet opposite her every few minutes. She'd been sat like that in the soundless bathroom four about half an hour so far and she had no intentions of getting up. He mobile phone lay next to her scratches on the sides after all the times she'd picked it up to ring the one person she needed to see right now, but then decided against it and threw it to the floor. The only noise was her uneven breathing. The silent tears were rolling down her face. She didn't even move to attempt to wipe them away anymore, because every time she did they were replaced with more. She looked to the floor at her mobile again. She had to ring him. He needed to know didn't he? Or she could just not tell him anything, but for once this was something that Samantha Puckett could not handle on her own. How could they have been so careless? It was just a one off and now she was going to suffer the consequences of it. She picked the phone up in her shaking hands and dialled the familiar number and pressed call before she could have second thoughts. He picked up straight away – that was just like him.

"Sam, hey! That's you right?" He said quickly. She could here the hope in his voice.

She nodded, but then realised that he couldn't see her.

She managed a choked "Yeah."

"Sam, where have you been? You haven't answered mine or Carly's calls in 3 days and you haven't even been to school." He said clearly worried.

"Freddie I… I need to see you. Could you come round?" She asked quietly.

"Err yeah sure. Sam are you okay? You don't seem li…"

"Freddie just come quick." She cut him off. "Please." She said quietly before ending the conversation. She didn't want to burst into tears over the phone.

All she could do know was wait. It couldn't be hard seen as though she'd been sat in the bathroom for half an hour anyway another ten minutes wouldn't hurt would it?

She spent the ten minutes thinking about what she was going to say to Freddie. However she phrased it, it sounded bad. She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a knock at her door. He actually was quick. She attempted to wipe the tears from her face, but she knew there was no point she was only going to start crying again, even though she didn't want too.

"Come in." She said trying to speak up so he'd hear her.

She heard her door creak signalling that he was in her room.

"I'm in here." She said.

She stared intently at the floor when she heard Freddie walk in.

"Sam?"

She didn't look up. She felt his arm brush against hers as he sat next to her.

"Sam what's wrong?" He said softly nudging her slightly.

She finally turned to face him and looked to the floor again when she saw his reaction to her tearstained face and puffy red eyes.

"No, no I'm sorry Sam. Look at me, please. Tell me what's wrong." He said gently holding her face trying to make her face him.

She looked up at him again and she couldn't hold the tears in any longer. They started pouring down her face and Freddie pulled her into his arms holding her close to him. Just letting her cry. Her head was buried in his neck the tears coming down fast flow. She knew she was ruining his shirt and tried to pull away, but he didn't seem to mind as he pulled her back again wrapping his arms tighter around her.

It had been about 6 minutes and Freddie waited just letting Sam cry. He pretended that he was okay but he was scared stiff. What could have happened that made Sam cry so much. He was shocked when she started sobbing. Samantha Puckett didn't cry ever, _ever. _He held her close trying to hold in the fact that he was so surprised she was crying into his chest.

"Freddie?" Sam asked. She felt Freddie jumped slightly when he heard her voice.

"Hmmm."

"I…I need to tell you something.

She pulled away from him and looked at him.

"I… I, Freddie I think I'm p….pregnant." She said getting quieter with every word. She quickly looked to the floor. She didn't want to see Freddie's reaction.

He'd gone a whole minute without saying anything, so Sam looked at him. His face was full of shock until it went soft when he realised Sam was watching him.

"You…err, H…how?" He stuttered

Sam glared at him.

"I think you know how." She said bitterly.

He looked at her timidly.

"Sorry I just, sorry. Have you done a test?" He asked

She nodded at him.

"And how do you think your p… you know." He said.

"I… I couldn't face it. It's up their. I haven't read it."

"Aww Sam -"

"Don't ok you'll make me cry again." She said "Will you just look at it for me? I just wanna find out."

Freddie sighed. He didn't want to look at it. What if it was the news none of them wanted to hear. He'd be the first to find out and he'd be the one to have to tell Sam, but he nodded anyway. She managed a small smile but it quickly went as she started chewing her lip. She got up and walked into her bedroom. But stopped when she realised Freddie didn't move.

"Aren't you going to look?" She said.

"Oh yeah, sorry." He got up and she walked out of the room.

Sam was pacing her room she'd been up and down four times when she saw Freddie walk in. She looked at him trying to get an answer from his expression, but there was nothing. He was blank. She walked up to him.

"W…what?" It was all she could ask.

Freddie didn't know how to say it. He knew which answer she was desperately hoping for, but could he tell her that?

"Sam honey, I…I'm so sorry," He said

He saw her expression of hope turn horrified, frightened and pained.

"N…no, Freddie." She pleaded. The tears that Freddie was so scared to see fell down her cheeks.

"Sam, please don't," He tried to hold her but she was shaking so much. She tried to pull away from his grasp.

"No, no I…I'm not. I'm not p...pregnant."

"Sam just calm down liste–"

"NO, go away! I…I don't want to listen to you!" She shouted at him.

He tried to pull her into his arms, but she wouldn't. She was pulling him off of her.

"Just let me go!"

"No." He said firmly.

"I wanna go. Let me go."

Freddie yelped in pain as she punched his chest, but he didn't let go of her. She punched him again and again hoping he'd let her go, but he had a firm hold on her. The punches were becoming weaker and weaker. Freddie could see the full flowing tears streaming down her face as she punched him over and over again. Eventually they turned into small nudges to his chest barely even that as she gave up and let herself collapse into his arms.

She was shaking with sobs. Freddie pulled her close to him. He ran his hands through her hair and rubbed her arm trying, but hopelessly failing to calm the sobbing girl down.

"W…why did it have to be me? What about all the sluts at school. I bet they've slept with millions of guys and I'm the one that gets pregnant." Sam said her voice muffled because of Freddie's shirt. He could still hear what she said and she seemed like she'd stop crying. She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of her bed. He followed her and sat next to her.

"Sam we don't need to be worrying about that. Those girls are always going to be sluts."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well theirs three options: You could keep it. Keep it then put it up for adoption or Have an abortion, but you can choose. It's up to you."

"I…I don't want to have a baby. I want a… an…abortion." She said quietly. Waiting for Freddie to speak.

"What?" Freddie said shocked.

"Sam y…you can't."

**Their we go. What'chya think good? bad? And i know it's against the rules to have an abortion and all but they won't i promise lol.**


	2. Decision made, right?

**So here's the next chapter – Thanks a lot for your reviews. They were great I mean it. **

**Disclaimer – I'm too tired to put some sarcastic comment in here so, No I don't own iCarly.**

Freddie's just watched the blond for a moment her eyes were locked on his but she finally turned away.

"I'm serious." She said looking down at her fingernails.

"You want to abort the baby?" He said waiting for her to look his way again.

"You want to get rid of it, to…to kill it." Sam winced when she heard the word 'kill'.

"It's not like that it..." She couldn't think of what it really was if Freddie wasn't right.

"It's what?" He said. His voice was firmer now. She didn't answer him because she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to justify her decision, but she knew it was what she wanted – wasn't it?

"Go on if it's not killing Sam, what is it?" She could hear the anger in his voice now. His question was ringing through her ears over and over again. She knew he was right, but she didn't want to admit it. Why couldn't he just understand it was the right thing for her to do? It was what she wanted; he couldn't really expect her to go through with everything. That would mean having to carry a baby for nine whole months with all the little extras, the cravings and morning sickness. Well, they would be little extras to woman who wanted to have children to women who were old enough to have children. But to Sam they were huge, huge extras. She didn't want a child and she wasn't old enough to have a child. So where did that leave her?

All these thoughts ran through her mind at once, until she heard Freddie shout her name. Being pulled back into reality she quickly turned to where he was sitting beside her only to find the space next to her empty. Her eyes scanned the room and she saw Freddie in front of her an irritated look on his face.

"Sam answer my question! Are you even listening to me?" He yelled.

"Freddie jus-"

"So you heard me then. Well now you can answer me Sam. If getting abortion isn't kill-"

"Stop it. Stop saying that. Just stop it." She said her voice shaky.

She could feel the tears welling up again, even though she desperately didn't want to cry. She closed her eyes tight trying to blink the tears back. She felt a hand on her cheek and she opened her eyes to see Freddie's face. This time it was soft and apologetic, but she didn't care she grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her getting up. She was halfway across the room when a wave of nausea hit her. Immediately her hand clamped her mouth shut and she ran to the bathroom bending over the toilet. She threw up emptying what felt like the entire contents of her stomach. She tried to hold her hair back failing miserably but, she felt a pair of hands pull her hair out of her face. She shut her eyes tightly trying to forget the burning in her throat. It was no use the burning sensation didn't go away no matter how much she tried to forget about it. She gripped the side of the toilet trying to stay upright. Finally the sickness stopped. She slowly stood up and flushed the toilet. She trudged to the sink and reached for her toothbrush ignoring Freddie's words and shrugging his hand off her shoulder. She brushed her teeth for at least 4 minutes but she still couldn't get rid of the vile taste that was in her mouth. She rinsed her brush and put it away.

She walked towards Freddie and stood in front of him. She saw him hold his breath and she knew he thought he was about to be punched or something from that nature but instead she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes letting the tears fall for what seemed like the 50th time that day. She didn't want to cry so much. She didn't want to act like such a child. Such a small child, but being put into a situation like hers she did feel like a small child. She didn't have any control over her emotions at all.

Freddie was shocked at Sam's actions. He'd expected to be punched unconscious or something along those lines. And here she was her arms wrapped around him crying.

"Hold me then." She said through tears and Freddie immediately wrapped his arms around her. Saying he felt awful was an understatement. He felt absolutely horrible. He knew most of this was his fault and now Sam was going to suffer for it. He hated to see her cry and that had been all he'd seen today, it was even worse that she was crying because of something he'd done.

"Sam, please jus…just don't cry. I hate seeing your cry."

"I don't want to." She said her voice was thick with tears. "They…they just keep coming."

Freddie lips brushed against her blond hair. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but nothing felt right, nothing at all.

Sam spoke after a while.

"So I…I mean you want me go through with this don't you?" Sam asked. Her voice sounded better this time.

Freddie hesitated but responded shyly.

"Yeah,"

"I thought you'd say that."

"Sam I know it's going to be hard and if I could do anything to make it easy for you I would but,"

Sam cut him off. "I know you would." she said

She pulled away from him, but Freddie still kept his arms around her. She looked up at him. There was a small smirk on her tear stained face.

"So you're gunna put up with my mood swings, weird cravings and the fact that I'm gunna get fat and blow up like a balloon?"

"Well," He started a smile on his face. "You already have mood swings, trust me I would know he said pointing to a bruise on his shoulder and…" He said playing with her hair. "You already have the weirdest food cravings I don't think it can get any stranger and you're already fat." He said. His eyes widen when he realised what he'd said and he saw the furious look on Sam's face.

"No…no I… I swear that was-" He quickly decided against explaining and ran, but Sam was too fast for him. She grabbed him by the shirt and wrestled him to the ground. She sat on top of him and pinned his arms up above his head. He watched in fear as her eyes narrowed threateningly.

"So you think I'm fat?" She said her teeth clenched.

"No Sam I…I swear It was just a slip up because I was saying all those other things you said were true and…" He stopped and gulped as he saw her eyebrows rise in disbelief.

"But if you s…" She stopped mid sentence.

"Oh. My. Gosh." She squeaked.

Freddie could see she was looking in the mirror on her wardrobe. She let go of him and stood up walking to the mirror. Freddie watched as she studied her appearance. She stood to the side and then he knew what she was doing.

"I…I've already turned fat." She said quietly "You were right."

"Sam you're not fat at all. You look absolutely fine, as beautiful as always." He said with his heart breaking smile. Sam gave him a questioning glance.

"I promise." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple.

"But I will turn fat."

"Come on Sam it's not going to be fat you've got-"

"It doesn't matter." She said sighing.

Just then she heard the phone ring. She removed Freddie's arms from around her waist and walked over to her phone on the window sill and looked at the caller id. It was Carly.

"It's Carly. Should I answer?" She asked Freddie.

He walked over to her.

"She does have the right to know Sam."

She groaned and quickly pressed the answer button without thinking about what she was doing. She gave Freddie a worried glance and he responded with an encouraging smile.

"H…hello." Sam said

"Sam oh my gosh you actually picked up your phone. Where have you been? Me and Freddie both tried calling you so many times and you didn't even come to school and now you've missed…." Sam gave Freddie an 'I can't believe you made me do this look' and he knew straight away that Carly would be giving Sam an overprotective friend lecture of some sort. He just smiled at the blond who still looked pretty apprehensive but bored at the same time. He took Sam's hand and led her to the edge of the bed where they both sat.

It looked like Carly was still going on and on because, Sam had brought the phone away from her ears and pointed it to Freddie. He could hear Carly's voice and he took the phone out of Sam's hand.

"Hey Carly – Yeah it is Freddie err yeah Sam's fine, I'm with her. Carly can you just listen to her she needs to tell you something." He said handing the phone back to Sam.

"Why the hell did you say that?" She hissed grabbing the phone from him.

"You wanna get it over with quickly Sam. Go on. It'll be fine." Sam looked uneasy as she put the phone to hear ear again.

"Yeah it's me. Err what I wanted to tell you. I…" Sam stopped and quickly took a glance at Freddie.

"Go on." He urged.

"I uh, Carly I…" Freddie took Sam's hand in his.

"Carly I'm…Carly I'm pregnant." She said quickly. She felt Freddie's thumb stroke her palm as she waited for Carly's reaction.

**Reviews would be much appreciated. And they'd make me smile. :)**


	3. Secrets

**Next chapter! Thanks to the reviewers! **

'**Insert very clever sarcastic disclaimer here' in other words I don't own.**

"What? Sam are you serious?"

"No, I just thought it'd be funny to tell you I was, you know?" Sam said annoyed. She looked over at Freddie. He gave a warning look the kind a pre-school teacher gives to a child when he's refusing to sit in the naughty corner.

She sighed she had better apologise for being what she was sure Freddie would call 'too sarcastic in a serious situation'

"Sorry Carly. I shouldn't have snapped at you and yeah, yes I am pregnant."

"Sorry Sam. I was just kind of shocked. I mean I was expected you to say you had food poisoning from uncooked chicken or something."

Their was an awkward silence over the phone for about a minute till Carly spoke again.

"Is Freddie the father?" Carly asked slightly unsure.

"Of course he is, what do you think I am?!" Sam said bitterly.

"Why don't' you just tell her you'll speak later, kay?" Freddie whispered knowing Sam wasn't in the greatest of moods. And no doubt after Carly put the phone down he'd have to answer to an irritable Sam.

"Sorry Carly, I'm just really tired okay. Can I speak to you later?" Sam asked. Freddie was a bit taken aback by Sam's apology, but she was speaking to Carly and Carly was usually the only person that did ever get a sorry out of Sam.

"Sure – it's ok."

"Bye,"

"Bye Sam and you know I'm here if you need me, kay?" Carly said

Sam smiled.

"Course. Bye Carls!"

"Bye."

Sam ended the call and put her phone down.

"So, are you going to go?" Sam asked Freddie.

"Oh you want to get rid of me?" He said pulling his hand away from hers and getting up.

"No, no I didn't mean that!" Sam said grabbing his arm. She didn't want him to leave her. The house was empty because, her mum was on a late shift at the store. If Freddie went she'd be by herself not that it had bothered her before, but she just didn't want to be alone today.

He turned around and grinned at her.

"But you told me to go?" He said smiling.

"Fine then, go." She said getting up and closing the curtains. She pushed passed Freddie and curled up on her bed closing her eyes. Even though she did want him to stay she was too stubborn to tell him outright.

"I was joking." Freddie said "My mum would freak, but I'll stay if you want me too."

"No it's fine, you can go." She said her eyes still shut.

Sam could her Freddie's shuffling footsteps and smiled when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. She leaned into him and slowly nodded off.

"Night." Freddie whispered.

* * *

Freddie had left early the next morning after listening to about 12 concerned voicemails from his mum – one of her even threatening to call the police. He'd left a note for Sam. She was fast asleep when he woke up. She looked so peaceful he didn't want to wake her. She deserved a good night's sleep.

* * *

Sam was sat in the kitchen watching her mum eat cereal. She'd decided she was going to have to tell her mum the news too. Mrs Puckett was watching Sam from the corner of her eye. She'd realised Sam glancing at her every minute or so.

"Sam, what's wrong?" She asked straight up startling her daughter.

"Oh err… I… I need to talk to you mum." Sam said. She was caught of guard with her mum's question. She didn't think her mum had noticed her constant glances.

Mrs Puckett had a stony look on her face and Sam hadn't even told her anything yet. Sam was about to speak when her mum stopped her.

"You're pregnant aren't you." She said quietly.

Sam was startled again with her mum's sudden question which was in this case completely right.

"What how… yeah I…I am, but how did you know?" Sam stuttered.

"I knew it. It's the only thing that comes after a daughter telling her mum that she needs to talk." Sam was quiet for a moment. " And that was how I told my mum when I was pregnant with you." Mrs Puckett said.

"So…" Sam said waiting for her mum's reaction.

"You're not going to keep it are you?" Her mum asked.

"Well, I…I don't know Freddie wants me to but…"

"Freddie that boyfriend of yours, he's the father right?"

Sam nodded.

"Don't listen to him. Don't let him pressure you into anything Sam. That's the mistake I made and I don't want you to make the same one."

Sam took a moment to take in the information. So she was a mistake to her mum?

"So I was a mistake. You didn't really want to have me?"

"Sam I didn't mean it like that. I really do love you even though sometimes you probably doubt it very much, but I was your age and I'm sure you think this babies going to be really hard and maybe a burden on you. That's what I thought. But I let you dad talk me into keeping the baby only for him to leave me." She added bitterly.

"So you don't think I should keep the baby?" Sam asked

Her mum shook her head.

* * *

Sam looked down at the leaflet she'd picked up from the chemist on her way back from school. It read Pregnancy – Abortion. She'd read the telephone number at the bottom of the page hundreds of times, but hadn't had the guts to ring it. She hadn't told Freddie anything about her intentions and she was planning on keeping it that way. Carly had to practically drag him home after school so he'd let Sam walk alone, so she could pick up the leaflet.

Sam thought her decision over one more time. Her mum's words were circling her head. She definitely didn't want to have a child and then it be the biggest mistake of her life, which according to her mum it would be. But then what if keeping the baby was one of the best things she ever did and if she got rid of it she'd never know would she? She thought about Freddie. He was furious when she mentioned abortion last time, but surely it'd be the best option for him too. He would be tied down if he became a father and without a doubt it would mess up his education.

Sam dialled the number on her cell phone. She pressed the call button and waited for someone to pick up. She tried to push all the thoughts out of her head. While waiting for someone to answer.

"Hello you're through to Seattle Grace abortion Clinic. How can I help you?" The sickeningly sweet voice of the receptionist rang through Sam's ears.

Sam's thoughts quickly drifted off to how would react when she told him, but then she remembered her mum's words again 'Don't let him pressure you into anything.' Her mum was right this was her decision it would be her carrying and giving birth to the child, so Freddie's opinion didn't really count that much did it?

She completely forgot the fact that she was on the phone until the receptionist spoke again in her over cheerful voice.

"Hello, hello this is Se-"

"Uh yeah, Hi sorry. I…I want to." Sam took a deep breath. "I mean I'd like to book an abortion - for as soon as possible please." She added hastily.

**So I have a question do you guys want Sam to have an abortion? **

**I do but I was thinking of where I could take the story if she did and I haven't come up with anything. So let me know what you think?! **


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